Swiftly taking leads of patient x who laid motionless with no signs of life, in order to move onto the next… patient y, leaving no time to mentally process the loss of a human soul gone to soon 35, but we have another 30 plus bodies to attend to. My mind couldn’t fathom how quickly patient x had gone, because x was alive roughly 30 minutes ago. O how fragile life is, like spilt water that can never be gathered back up again. I didn’t even notice x slip away, my mind fogged by all the monitors beeping and the many footsteps pacing. What my eyes perceived at that very moment in time was a very sorry sight. I felt like I was in the midst of a horrific battle site.
And there were many more events like this.
Chest compressions, difficult conversations being had, I hated walking through that area, it hurt me, it hurt my heart. My heart frequently felt heavy, which led to the sleepless nights, and oh yeah the panic attacks. The worry of ending up like people like patient x were haunting. So many concerns piled up within, such as concerns over family health. Nights weren’t fun, I felt like I couldn’t breath, someone make the itching stop please. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, and hear my heart beating in my ear. Why is my body and mind reacting in this way? I felt like I couldn’t breath so I got a diffuser, which calmed me for some time. It was superficial treatment, it patched up the symptoms without dealing with the root cause.
I couldn’t breath until I spoke. And when I spoke my healing came.
Don’t stay silent. Talk to God. Talk to man (woman).
Cast your burdens unto me (God) for I care for you.
Interlude
My prayer for all those dealing with bereavement, is for you to receive an immeasurable amount of peace with surpasses all human understanding. And for comfort to abound in your hearts.
Good day beautiful people
I hope you’re all well and safe? I decided to open up today’s post with a poem, rather than my usual hello. It was my intention to capture your attention immediately. If you’re not yet aware, this post is a follow up blog to last weeks discussion on mental health and the Christian. It is my desire to help iridicate the stigma attached to mental ill health. Our modern society needs to become more mental health aware, and individuals need to understand that we all have mental health. A person can either have good mental health, be mentally ill, or be somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.
In life we will all experience emotional turmoil. So remember you’re not alone when you face psychological difficulties. Take David for example, the Bible states that he was a man after God’s own heart, but honestly the man faced immense heartache throughout his lifetime.
Imagine being betrayed by your own son and having to flee for your life. And also picture one of your own sons raping his half sister and then getting killed by his half brother (who is also one of your sons). Reading through the book of Psalms one can note that time after time again, David pours out his heart through his writings. We see a record of the hardships he faced, and how he had to continually encourage himself to trust in God, and to believe in the Lord for salvation. (I can just imagine writing being an opportunity for King David to let of some steam).
I truly thank God for David’s openness and honesty, as he didn’t paint a false picture of always having it together, even though one would think he ‘should’ considering the fact he ruled over the great nation of Israel. This honesty helps quash the lie that being a Christian exempts one from encountering suffering.
Psalm 143:1-12 ~ “Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don’t put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done. I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Interlude Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.”
Psalm 42:5 ~ “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again my Savior and”
Psalm 42:11 ~ “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Saviour and my God!”
So when you pass through the fire and the flood remember that you have a God who will never abandon you. God cares DEEPLY for you and He will provide you with the strength you need to pass through the fire.
Isaiah 43:2 ~ “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
Isaiah 41:9-10 ~ “I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, ‘You are my servant.’ For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Lastly we should not allow our poor health hinder us from drawing closer to God. Paul brought the gospel message to the people of Galatia whilst he was unwell, yet they still chose to receive the truth. The gospel message is MORE THAN just ‘feeling good’. Salvation is priceless, and is not a gift worth giving up because of experiencing ill health whilst on earth
Galatians 4:13-14 ~ “Surely you remember that I was sick when I first brought you the Good News. But even though my condition tempted you to reject me, you did not despise me or turn me away. No, you took me in and cared for me as though I were an angel from God or even Christ Jesus himself.”
Keep safe, look after yourself, and do not be discouraged.
God bless
Love from
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart
Amazingggggg read
Thank you very much for reading. Take care and God bless