Good day beautiful people
I hope this post meets you well? Today I want to share with you, why I believe it’s important to be content in the place where God has positioned you! Be happy where you are! For the single ladies out there, be happy single, for it’s the place that God intends for you to be. I’m happy that I get to walk along this road of singleness for the time being, as I get to encourage those travelling along the same path. Your loved ones and friends my sympathise with you (pity you), but may not truly understand your feelings, because they haven’t been through, or had to go through what you’re currently experiencing! Which is why I’m happy to share MY STORY ‘The chronicles of a christian single lady…occasionally featuring some of her friends’ with the world!
Isn’t it beautiful that the very thing which I despised, has now become my testimony. In my weakness God is glorified. All the hardships and trials I face, are for the benefit of others. My pain helps others! So I urge every reader to try and see the purpose in your pain. ‘The chronicles of a christian single lady’, has now become like a mini ministry 😀, praise God.
2 Corinthians 1:6 ~ Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.
2 Corinthians 12:9 ~ Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
In the past I used to dread thinking about being single, as I used to believe the lie that being single was a problem, and that it made you inferior in some ways. But now when those so called thoughts creep into my mind, an overwhelming sense of joy rises up within me. Why? Because I start thinking, I can now use what the enemy intended for evil, for good. Not in my own strength, but with the help of the Holy Spirit. Sermons and blog posts have been birthed from the many negative thoughts I’ve had, and processed. Can I get a hallelujah.
Reasons why I’m happy and thankful for my single SEASON.
1. As I’ve grown in years, looking back I’ve come to realise that I didn’t know as much about myself, as I thought I did. Reflecting upon the past I’m grateful for not receiving what I wanted then, as now I see it wouldn’t have been what I truly wanted. There is still SO much I’m discovering about myself, I’ve discovered new talents, hobbies, and likes! (Guys strawberries are so yummy, I’ve only just realised how delicious they are, within the last few months).
2. There’s a lot which I desire to accomplish, and I feel that if I was married with kids, there’d be a potential I ‘may’ have shown some resentment towards my spouse, and may have gone as far as blaming our relationship for being the reason why, I haven’t achieved what I wanted to achieve a lot sooner. It’s my desire to give my future family the attention they need, and not to NEGLECT them because I’m too busy with projects. I’m not saying you cannot achieve your dreams whilst being married with kids, for with God all things are possible. But my personal journey is different to the girl’s next door. Which is why it’s important to seek God for guidance, instead of trying to copy someone else’s lifestyle choices. I know God wants me to sort out a few bits and pieces prior to marriage, and I’ve accepted this 😀.
3. I get to spend more time with God and grow in the faith! I really value quiet time with my Heavenly Father, and I desire to maximise as much time as I can within His presence. I am also able to do more in terms of helping out in church, and organising events. I also get to maximise the time I spend with my parents and siblings ❤️❤️❤️.
Acts 21:8-9 ~ The next day we went on to Caesarea and stayed at the home of Philip the Evangelist, one of the seven men who had been chosen to distribute food. He had four unmarried daughters who had the gift of prophecy.
^^^ These women were unmarried but it didn’t stop the Holy Spirit from using them! They weren’t just spare parts which had no use, they contributed in the building up of the early church.
4. Being single has enabled me to work on my personal development. I’ve been able to undertake a few short courses here and there, which I’ve found to be extremely fun, and therapeutic. These courses have helped push me out of my comfort zone!
5. The single season has highlighted to me, that there is still so much that I want to do with my life! I just want to travel the WHOLE WORLD tbh, and help those in need whilst on my spontaneous adventures. And to add sharing the gospel to my travels, now that is what I call living life (well in my own eyes).
6. It’s a time to SAVE. It’s important to live according to your means, avoid spending what you don’t have, and work on saving for a potential rainy day, or for investment purposes. Living with family has enabled me to save a lump sum, so I’m very grateful, and privileged.
7. I enjoy living spontaneously. I haven’t been called to walk along the path of parenthood just yet, but I’m privileged to witness many of the great sacrifices, which amazing parents (my parents included) make, for the benefit of their children. I’ve been told many times to enjoy the single season because it’s a gift from God, and that I will do! I choose to enjoy life, every bit of it.
I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post, and I pray that you too can enjoy the benefits of the single season, as God intends for you to do so! I’d also like to clarify, that I am in no way saying that you cannot accomplish the things which I’ve listed above, if you’re married, or a parent! One can do all things in line with God’s will for their life, through Christ Jesus. But in a marital union your priorities change, you have to take your spouses needs into consideration, as marriage is about serving. Also certain tasks may take slightly longer to accomplish, with additional responsibilities such as childcare etc.
1 Corinthians 7:32-36 ~ I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin.”
Whatever helps you serve the Lord best, do it. If you believe you can serve God better in a marriage, then ask God to lead you to the right spouse, at the RIGHT TIME. The person who marries does well, and so does the unmarried person!
The last note I’d like to leave you with, is to simply enjoy life, but remember that in all you do, you should do it for the glory of the Lord! Don’t turn marriage into an idol, because the Lord detest idolatry. He desires for nothing else to take His place in our hearts.
Ecclesiastes 2:24 ~ So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.
Ecclesiastes 11:9 ~ Young people, it’s wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do.
Love you all
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart
Wow!! This is SO GOOD!!!! Thank you for taking the time and effort to share your thoughts and journey with us! I am not the only person that has read this that was moved by this message! I loved the points you made and the verses you added!! Thank you! I LOVE this series! Keep it coming.
Thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement. Your kind words are always uplifting! I do pray that many more people can hear the truth of the gospel, through my personal account. I do desire to reach out to more people, so I’m open to suggestions on how this can be done.
Thanks sis have a blessed week 🤗
Same to you! xoxo
This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you for reading! I hope you have a blessed week 🤗
If you’re unhappily single, are you required to be “content” with it?
Where does the Bible day this, exactly? It seems like people invented this idea, partly, as a way to caution you about being “desperate.” It doesn’t make much sense to me, to be honest.
When you’re single, some people will try to encourage you with ideas like “this is where God has you right now.” But just because you’re currently single doesn’t mean that God wants you there. This idea is a little strange. What if I’m currently homeless, or unemployed, or being abused? Are those things happening because “God wants me there”? Often people teach this sort of idea when they talk about singleness.
The funny thing is that it actually seems counter to what Paul actually says in 1 Corinthians 7. What Paul says is that if you are single and not content….then go get married. Isn’t that interesting? Just because something’s happening in your life doesn’t mean it’s a “gift from God.”
Sometimes, when people tell singles to be content, they’re just citing personal experience. They’ll say things like, “I stopped looking, and that’s when I found my husband/wife.” They then assume that this means it was all “God’s plan.” They figured out The Formula, apparently.
I mean, if you’re striving to be content in order to be “ready” or “good enough” to find a spouse, well, that’s not really good, is it? Isn’t that somewhat dishonest? If I’m trying to become “content” so that I can get married…..well, then I’m not really content, am I? And what about every person who gets married early in life without really entering a long period singleness – were they content in singleness first? I’m gonna say no. If people were able to find true “contentment” with being single, why bother getting married?
I mean, what if if you’re currently homeless, or unemployed? Should you “learn contentment” in those situations, or do things to escape them?
If you’re single, you hear people pontificate to you about “contentment” all the time. In Philippians 4:12, when Paul reminds us to be content in whatever state we’re in, he’s referring to our ultimate contentment in God. There’s no requirement to force ourselves to be happy about every situation. Having and expressing the desire doesn’t make you weak. Admitting and expressing frustration and loneliness doesn’t make you weak.
A lot of times, singles will feel lonely in their situation. That’s fine. We can’t help that. But we can also feel guilty for being lonely because as Christians we have things to be thankful for and we’re often presented with the message that all the good Christians must be “content.” We’re also sometimes told that we have to be “content” before God will bless us with romantic love. This is a popular idea in modern church culture, but we’re not required to be completely satisfied with life, whether we’re married or single. We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. We don’t have to repress our emotions or pretend that these situations make us happy. Nor do we have to pretend that these desires are unimportant to us. It’s OK to feel and express sadness and loneliness. We’re not going to disappoint God for feeling emotions that we can’t control anyway.
Ideas like this imply that your “season” of singleness will end once we learn to properly exercise contentment. Apparently all the married couples somehow mastered this, and reached some pinnacle of contentment that God approved of and rewarded accordingly. As if we can use a formula and reverse psychology to convince God to give us the thing we want. Sometimes married couples will tell you that their story went like this, that God “blessed” them with a spouse once they stopped “idolizing” marriage, or once they “stopped looking.” Or once they “learned to be content.” Cool story. As if that’s some sort of universal rule. The Bible doesn’t mention this weird idea anywhere.
If you want love/marriage/sex badly, well, you can’t make yourself “stop” wanting those things. What a silly idea. You’re not being “worldly” or sinful just by expressing desires for things like these. If Christians were able to repress or ignore these desires, and become fully “content” with being single, then why would any Christian ever marry?
You also mention 1 Corinthians 7:32-36. A lot of the time, when you’re single, people tell you to “take advantage” of it because you can apparently “serve more.” You have more “time” to serve. I think lot of this comes from a certain take on what Paul writes in these verses. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do “more ministry” as a single. I don’t think that’s what Paul says here. I mean, if that’s the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you AREN’T distracted by the desire for marriage, then MAYBE you have the gift of singleness.
I think there’s a difference between being content IN something vs. being content WITH something.
Hi James
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. Everybody navigates life very differently hence the title why ‘I’ feel happy single. Maybe I should have used the word joyful instead. It doesn’t mean I never experienced moments of lowness because desiring something and not seeing it come to pass when you want it to happen can be discouraging. The Bible tells us hope delayed makes the heart sick.
And I must say that the phrase oh it’ll happen when you stop worrying or looking doesn’t sit well with me either to be honest. And people tend to use the phrase in relation to other life matters. Everyone’s timing in life is different and we can never fully understand why God does what He does, but He makes everything beautiful in His own time. Also faith without works is dead. Ruth didn’t sit at home doing nothing waiting for a miracle to fall into her hands after experiencing tragedy. She went out to work and was then connected to Boaz.
I believe it’s not healthy for a persons mind to be excessively preoccupied with thoughts that can lead to worry and anxiety which can develop from idolising or obsessing over something they do not have.
All glory to our Lord Jesus Christ for the precious gift of salvation.
It was nice reading your thoughts on the matter.
Yeah, I agree with all that, too. And for sure, everyone’s different.
I never understood the “stop looking” advice.” If you’re a Christian and you’re unemployed, are you going to find a job once you “stop looking”? As a Christian single, you get lots of advice that sounds good on paper. But the more you think it through, the less helpful it is and the less sense it makes, at least in my experience.
I always found Ruth’s story interesting, for sure. Some of the well-meaning advice you get in Christian circles about dating encourages you to be “patient” and “content” and things like that, but I’m sure this often encourages passivity for many. But I don’t think these things “just happen,” especially if you’re over 25 or so. Ruth certainly didn’t just sit around and wait for something to happen. Neither did Boaz. They both took action. They did things that strike you as very forward and even crazy. And the author of the book, or other characters in the book, never criticize either of them for lacking faith/patience/contentment. Isn’t that interesting?
It can sometimes feel safer to just do nothing and “wait on God.” I also think lots of Christians are reluctant to take action when it comes to finding love because it seems to be reveal “impatience” or lack of “trust” in God. We can definitely over-think these things.