Good day beautiful people
I hope that you’re all well, and are enjoying the wonderful blessings which God has placed around you? In today’s post I plan to keep you updated on my life journey as a single christian lady. I also want to remind you that for many of us singles in Christ, singleness will only be a season, and seasons are not permanent. Although the wait may be extremely long, the season will eventually come to an end! Don’t forget that you have other siblings in Christ going through the same hardship of trying to wait WELL (accept God’s will without trying to manipulate circumstances in order to meet our desire for marriage). And please remember that our ultimate purpose in life is to glorify God, and one can do so without being married. You can start living well for God NOW without having to be a wife, mother, father, or husband!
[Acts 21:9 ~ “He had four unmarried daughters who had the gift of prophecy.”]
^^^ 4 unmarried women utilising their time for the Kingdom of God].
Let us enjoy the moment we’re in instead of trying to force a deadline that is NOT for us yet. Live life and have fun. Stop waiting and doing nothing with your precious time because you ‘feel’ that you can’t do anything until you meet that special person, because you ‘feel’ that you’ll have nothing exciting to do with them, because you ‘think’ you would’ve done it all already. Let me tell you something, there will be THOUSANDS of new experiences for you to encounter with your future spouse because you’re both unique human beings with unique interests. And one day you’ll be able to introduce and share your interests with one another. Learn to be thankful for your single season, as it is God’s will for your life to be single at this current moment in time, utilise your days on earth well, and contribute to Kingdom building.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ~ “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
1 Corinthians 7:28 ~ But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 ~ I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.”
Sorry to waffle but I believe that the above statements needed to be said! Without further ado, I shall now share with you why I personally made the decision to say bye bye to online dating (I must clarify that I am not anti online dating, it’s just not for ME. Also it is not ungodly to use online dating, as God can use the worldwide web to bring people together if He chooses, therefore online dating in itself is not evil, but I am aware that there are people who use such platforms with evil [sinful] intentions in mind).
1. Emotionally draining: Personally I found the process to be extremely overwhelming. Having multiple ‘potentials’ to respond to, and being overly concerned about other peoples hearts was a big issue for me. I found it hard to talk to several people at the same time, even though I’d been advised to do so on multiple occasions, it just felt a bit like I was betraying people on the app (I know, I know, betrayal is a STRONG word, but eh that’s just how I felt during the process of online dating).
2. Mood influencing (in a negative way): I noticed that the pressure of using apps to find a potential spouse STRESSED me out. It wasn’t healthy for my mind at all, it influenced how I felt especially having to deal with slow replies it ticked me off! This then spilled over into my family life, as my occasional low moments concerned my family members, especially my middle sister.
3. Time consuming: I realised I was spending a fair amount of my day on christian dating apps. But this wasn’t the main problem for me as I could restrict the time I spent on apps through setting daily time limits. What was a HUGE issue was having to filter through the lies. There was dishonest individuals who’d lie about their age and forget that they were on more than one dating platform etc? And yes there was the few that were very up front about their sexual desires. This I found to be very off-putting, but I understand that each person’s experience with online dating is unique to them.
So there you have it, the 3 main reasons as to why I will not be returning to the world of online dating! Ultimately I made the decision to PROTECT my mental health.
Do I get concerned about being unmarried and approaching 30?… Well yeah I guess so, BUT I’ve come to terms with accepting the fact that God’s will for my life is GOOD. And I know for sure that I’ll look back on this season with a smile on my face, as well as a thankful heart.
Ecclesiastes 8:15 ~ So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.
P.S. if you encounter a match disappearing from your list, don’t take it to heart or feel unwanted. Just know that everything happens for a reason and God will cause even the bad events in your life to work for your good and His glory 😊.
The most precious thing of all, is that through our season of waiting our faith in The Lord is matured.
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart 💜