Hello to all my mighty women of valour
I can only pray and hope that y’all are doing well, and that your spiritual life is on FLEEK.
Well today I would like to talk about one of the challenging aspects that we Christian women may face… Guarding our heart. This is an extremely important issue because, it is out of a person’s mouth which come’s the desires of their heart, and those desires, thoughts or feelings, can be the very things which defile one (Matthew 15:18-19). If we yearn to please God, a way in which we could do so is by seeking to have a pure heart. I know that some of you may be thinking, guarding your heart only involves protecting yourself from emotional heart break. Well yes that is also part of learning to guard your heart, but there are also many different things which one can guard their heart from.
Some things we can guard our heart from!
- Habitual sin.
- Leading a destructive life
- Negative speech (ungodly speaking)
- Emotional heartache (not only romantically speaking).
One) We must be very careful when it comes to the mind. Our thoughts are very powerful and have a direct link with the way we act. It can become all too easy for us to begin to fantasise of what our ideal relationship, marriage and home will be like, but this puts us on a VERY slippery sloop. We start to think about how this ideal man of ours would look like, without missing out any bit of detail. We begin to think about how our perfect man would care for us and hold us when we’re feeling down. Forming an emotional attachment with someone who is yet to exist in our life, is ever so dangerous.
You may feel that it is okay to fantasise about a boyfriend or a husband, because you’re not actually carrying out any physical acts. This is not advisable because one, we’d be condoning the act of lustful thinking (lusting after what you do not have). We are constantly thinking every minute of the day, therefore a lustful thought pattern can potentially turn into a nasty habit, resulting in habitual sin. ‘You have heard that it was said, ‘you shall not commit adultery, but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart –Matthew 5:27-28’. This scripture applies to both males and females, so be careful about what you think about. Also when we fantasise we actually begin to lose our sense, because our views on reality become blurred. ‘…but those who chase fantasies have no sense’ Proverbs 12:11. And two we can end up idolising marriage above God. “You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth Exodus 20:3-4.
Many of us like to gloss up sin, so we don’t actually have to admit that what we’re doing is wrong. Such as using a psychological term to cover up the fact we have a problem with lustful thinking. ‘Oh it’s ok to fantasise, its normal for people our age, it’s a ‘healthy’ obsession, that helps maintain positive thinking’. Well I’m here to tell you that fantasising is NOT a healthy trait and is just another misinterpretation of the word SIN!!!!
Two/Three) I believe that leading a destructive life and negative speech go hand in hand. You may probably be wondering why I have said this??? Let’s just take a quick look at scripture in order to obtain further clarity on the point I’m trying to bring across. ‘The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences’ –Proverbs 18:21. The words in which we speak can determine the path which our lives take. This could either be a path which leads towards destruction or fruitfulness.
An example of this in the bible is when Moses sent spies to investigate the promise land. Ten of the spies came back with a bad report. Even though God had already given the Israelites the land as His promise to them, they still hand their doubts. They began to make a list of why the land could not be theirs. ‘Oh the people are bigger than us’, ‘they are the descendants of giants’, ‘they are more powerful than us’ ‘we are like grasshoppers compared to them’. This negative news spread like poison throughout the camp of the Israelites, this resulted in no person aged 20 years or older entering into the promise land, (Read Numbers 14:28-30). We can see that evil speech does not only affect the person doing the speaking, but also those around them. The community of Israel starting grumbling against Moses and God, and even talked about stoning Joshua and Caleb the only 2 out of the 12 spy’s who brought positive news.
If you are someone who constantly says, ‘I will never make it in life, it’s just in my destiny to always end up at the bottom’, then sure enough you will always end up at the bottom. Just as God created the earth with words, we as humans, being created in His image have that same ability (to a certain extent) to speak things into existence (Don’t get me wrong we are in NO way equal to God, nor do we obtain power like God. We just have certain traits that resemble that of our heavenly Father within small amounts). Looking back at the story in Numbers 14, in verse 28 God specifically says ‘Now tell them this, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say’. Just as the congregation said they would not be able to inherit the land, none of them who were 20 years and above entered the promise land.
Another example of how our words can govern our destiny is admitting that Jesus is our Lord and Saviour. ‘That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved’ Romans 10:9. This passage also shows that our speech has a direct link to our heart. Confessing Christ is Lord ensures a destiny in heaven with God our Father for eternity. On the other hand, if you deny Jesus is Lord, He will deny you before the Father Matthew 10:33. This results in spending the rest of your eternity without being in the presence of God, but being in hell.
One way in which we could help ourselves guard our heart, is by monitoring our speech. Our speech could be seen as the fruit of our heart. If our speech is bad this would mean our heart is probably very sick, and needs the Holy Spirit’s intervention.
Four) Last but not the least we should aim to guard our heart from emotional heart ache. Personally I believe that as women we can be very vulnerable to words which are spoken to us, or about us. And here we go again, words HAVE AN AFFECT ON OUR HEARTS. Kind sweet words can send shivers down our spine, melt our hearts or get our hearts pumping faster than usual. And with the flip of the coin, if we here that our close friend has been saying some nasty things about us, or has told one person a personally secret about us, it could send our blood pressure through the roof! (Yet again another relation to the heart, the heart pumps blood around the body ;), ok I’m being a little silly now, but I just hope you get my point).
As women words which come from the opposite sex can really soften our hearts. But words which are fired at us in relation to how we look, or our size can harden our hearts. A male can tell us that we have the world’s greatest/baddest body and silkiest lips, but really how is such a statement going to benefit us? This only encourages the development of lustful feelings. Usually individuals who address the opposite sex in a very sexual manner, typically only have one intention. And that is to satisfy their own sexual fantasies or desires. Words can be soooooooooo sweet to our ears, when in reality the seeds which they sow in our lives are extremely destructive. David is also very much aware of this and mentions it in the book of Psalms. ‘His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords’ Psalm 55: 21.
So a way one could guard their heart is to ignore such suggestive speeches, so in essence command your ears to be adherent to the word of God, and command it to not to bow to sin. As the bible says ‘And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell’ Matthew 5:30. So from this passage you could incorporate your ears as being one of the parts of the body, which could cause you to sin.
Sometimes as females we may think we are running out of options, and believe there’s not so many good fish in the sea. We begin to think, only if I responding to what that guy said in a certain way, I could be in a relationship now. Well praise God you didn’t text back to that guy who kept sexting you, God just delivered you from falling into sin girl, so don’t crave to return back to sinful ways (As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness Proverbs 26:11). In order to avoid carrying out foolish acts, do not return to your sinful habits. And don’t start to question yourself by saying “I probably could have led that guy to Christ”. Well don’t worry yourself, you probably wouldn’t have been able to change the guy or lead him to Christ, which is why God removed you from that situation.
Ladies as hard as it is, let go of the sweet things a guy says to you (As a matter of fact sexual, lustful things that tickle your eardrums and excite your heart), and now let God!!!! I know it can be so difficult to release words which pull on our heartstrings, the bible mentions twice that Mary the mother of Jesus, stored the things which people said about her son Jesus, in her heart (Luke 2:19 and Luke 2:51). It’s natural for us human beings to treasure things within our hearts, especially us women. Treasuring things in our hearts in itself is not wrong, but it’s the content of what we treasure that can defile us. God desires us to treasure His word in our hearts, He wants us to meditate upon His word. The Psalmist says ‘Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You’ Psalm 119:11.
Guarding our hearts from the four issues listed above, can also help prevent us from having hearts which are hardened toward God. You may be asking how is it possible for my heart to be hardened toward God, especially if I am a believer? Well if we look at Ezekiel 11:18-19, we see that if we have idols within our hearts (i.e. habitually thinking about a thing or person), this can turn our hearts away from God. The passage also refers to people having stubborn hearts, we can develop a stubborn heart by not trusting in God. This takes us back to the story of the ten spies, and the Israelites who doubted that God could take them into the promise land. (Btw don’t worry girl TRUST IN GOD He will provide you with a husband, DO NOT doubt Him… ever!!!)
There are many more things which we can guard our hearts from, but this post discusses four, as I feel it’s quite a hefty topic to discuss, which leaves you with a lot to take in, especially considering the length of this post! The last thing which I would like to mention is that the best way to guard your heart is by asking God to help you. Yield your heart to the Holy Spirit, and ask Him to guard your speech and thought pattern. I intend to write up a follow up post on practical ways in which we can guard our hearts.
Please beautiful women remember that you are not alone in the battle of guarding your heart. We ALL fall short of Gods glory, but God is always faithful to forgive (1 John 1:9), and He’s always able to pick us up when we fall down (Proverbs 24:16). Remember Jesus LOVES YOU very very very much.
Love y’all ladies