Hey beautiful people
So I’m back at you again with another post which looks into LIFE problems. Lets be very real, in life EVERYONE will go through trying times, even the bible states that on earth we will experience suffering it is inevitable (John 16:33). But the key to sustaining joy is found in the way (‘HOW’) we handle challenging situations.
I am going to be extremely transparent about an encounter which I recently experienced. There is a particular individual at work who really does rub me up the wrong way! And I can confidently say that there are a NUMEROUS amount of work staff that dislike working with this individual. I am all about peace people, and many of my colleagues know that I love people to resolve conflicts and work together collaboratively.
Now this colleague in particular has a habit of talking very loudly (shouting) and talking to people in a condescending manner. The only way to do things correctly is doing it ‘THEIR WAY’ any other way is just wrong. I know that this colleague of mine which I have decided to call John (not their real name but John will be used to protect their real identity) is very helpful, and will go out of his way to help others, BUT really lacks people skills. How you say things and the volume which you use to say things can really impact how a person will respond to you. I do think part of the difficulties John has with relating to others is down to cultural differences, but this is NO excuse to shout orders at others. As I said before John is helpful and I know his intentions are not evil, he has even invited me to his church before, but I dislike the way he speaks at times.
So I had to work a very long shift with John and I already had a negative mindset about having to work with Him (this is mistake number ONE on my part). The bible calls for us to think about things that are pure and of good report (Philippians 4:8), and I wasn’t. So even before the shift had started, I was already going about things the wrong way. Fast forward 1.5 hours into the shift and me and John had a heated disagreement over the phone. But what really offended me is that he painted me to be incompetent to one of the mangers and did so in the presence of other people! This REALLY made my blood boil, especially because when people would speak negatively about John I’d say something positive about him. At this point I felt something really had to be done, as I detest working in a hostile environment. I knew it would not be wise to try to reason with him alone, as the vibes I normally get from John is that being younger than John means that I ‘shouldn’t answer back’, when in reality I just desire to express my point of view. So as well as praying over the matter, I informed my senior about the heated discussion that took place, and was very open with my senior. To cut a long story slightly short I got to express my feelings and be honest with John in the presence of a mediator!
Some key points to learn from my experience
1. Don’t allow negative thoughts dominate your mind and control you! Always think in a godly manner. Your thoughts have the power to impact your actions and decision making process.
2. BE HONEST. I believe honesty is one of the attributes which help build successful/healthy relationships. I had to be honest with John and express that I find the way he speaks to me very offensive, and what he said about me hurtful. Sometimes people do not realise that their actions are hurtful, and do not INTENTIONALLY mean to offend others. But if they are not told they will not know, and will keep on hurting others. For your own emotional health TELL them, as it is part of your responsibility to care for yourself. Even the bible says that we should guard our hearts at ALL costs Proverbs 4:23.
3. PRAY ABOUT IT!!! And in doing so God can change YOUR heart. It’s easy to point out flaws in other people and easy to forget we have our own too. Pray even if that person remains slightly ‘difficult’, God has the power to change your perception on matters, so that you better handle encounters with that difficult person. God truly answers prayers (James 5:16). See it as a way to DEVELOP YOUR CHARACTER and increase your endurance levels (Romans 5:3-5 & James 5:9-11).
4. Always SEEK PEACE (Psalm 34:14). Don’t handle situations being hot tempered, and don’t let the sun go down on your anger! If needs be TALK TO SOMEONE about it (select this individual wisely). Sometimes there is a need to have someone mediate (Matthew 18:15-16).
5. Remember you CAN’T be best friends with EVERYONE. You can live in peace with an individual without having to spend ALL your time with that person. Having certain boundaries within relationships can actually be really healthy. We can look at the lives of Paul and Barnabas in the bible, both where men of God who loved to preach the gospel to the lost, yet separated from working together. They did not become enemies, but their lives took different paths (Acts 15:36-39).
So beautiful people I hope this post was a blessing, and you got to learn from my mishaps/mistakes. Have a wonderful, beautiful, blessed week people 😘
Love from the godly lady 😉