Good morning people
Today’s write up is a continuation/follow up on the ‘dealing with conflict’ post. This discussion will focus more so on family bonding, but I believe that many of the principles discussed today can be applied to everyday human interaction, especially intercommunication within the work place.
Is it just me or do we tend to give our best to random strangers or ‘acquaintances’? But within our homes family members tend to get the worst of us? You’ve had a long, tiring, and exhausting day at work, and the littlest thing a loved one does irritates you to the point that you flip out on them. I believe that this scenario is very common within many households. What we must understand is differences are NORMAL, but continuous outburst of anger to the point one becomes aggressive and violent is NOT acceptable behaviour. The bible says it’s ok to be angry but we should not allow our feelings lead us to sin.
Ephesians 4:26 ~ “And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,”
I have a few suggestions to share which I believe can help create an understanding environment within the home. These are personal tips which I regularly try to adhere to, that you can also try putting into practise if you so desire.
⁃ Be understanding: Allow room for others faults. Remember you make mistakes too and when you do, you’d appreciate if people expressed forgiveness towards you, especially if you were completely unaware of your wrongdoing. [Colossians 3:13 ~ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others].
⁃ Communication is key: TALK IT OUT, please do not undermine the power of speaking out. You mustn’t assume people know your likes and dislikes this includes people in your own home. People change and so do their needs. If you desire for the dishes to be dried and put away in the evenings just say so. If you need help with cooking in this house in order to reduce levels of exhaustion say so! Create a rota of responsibilities so people note what days they’re supposed to do specific chores. If you do not ask for help you will not receive help. No person is a mind reader so if you’re slightly worked up about something say so. I know sometimes people can sense when their loved one is hurt, but sometimes it can be difficult to pinpoint or understand how annoying a particular matter is without the annoyed individual stating so.
⁃ Learn to compromise: Hunger can lead to chaos!!! One party doesn’t like to eat dinner late and the other likes to eat their evening meal at 9pm rather than at 5pm. Come to an agreement people, as hunger can turn happy people into angry people very quickly.
⁃ Children respect and honour your parents: Raising/caring for another human being is not easy, therefore parents deserve respect. Older children ought to honour their careers too. Older kid’s should also feel comfortable in encouraging their parents to make good healthy choices. You should be able to express your concerns in a healthy and respectful manner. A biblical example of this can be seen when Johnathan has a discussion with his father King Saul. [1 Samuel 19:4-5 ~ The next morning Jonathan spoke with his father about David, saying many good things about him. “The king must not sin against his servant David,” Jonathan said. “He’s never done anything to harm you. He has always helped you in any way he could. Have you forgotten about the time he risked his life to kill the Philistine giant and how the Lord brought a great victory to all Israel as a result? You were certainly happy about it then. Why should you murder an innocent man like David? There is no reason for it at all!”].
Gentle words can help dissipate anger! The phrases below are easy words to say but can be hard to speak out or sincerely express.
Learn to say these liberating phrases.
‘You’re right there’.
‘I’ll take that on board’.
‘I’m sorry that upset you’.
Say this instead of this.
‘Next time why don’t you try doing this…’ ✅
‘You SHOULD have done this…’ /‘Why would you do that’ ❌
The way you word your sentences and the tone which you use make a big difference in the way an individual will respond to you.
Remember to think before you speak. I remember complaining about dinner being made late, and not being appreciative enough of the fact that my sister made the effort to make a lovely meal after experiencing a demanding day at work. Respect the work which others do, even if they work from home, work is WORK!
Proverbs 15:1 ~ A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
Love you all
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart 😘