Good day beautiful people
I hope you and your family members are well? Today we will be exploring the signs of a healthy relationship, specifically friendship. I believe that it’s important for us to understand what a healthy relationship should look and feel like, in order for us to guard our hearts. This will also help us recognise if a relationship is toxic.
There are specific attributes which a person can have, that help contribute towards building a healthy relationship. In other words qualities which makes one a ‘good’ friend.
Some key qualities of a good friend.
–Trustworthy: A friend is a person who will not spread your private matters before others. It shouldn’t cross their mind to spitefully share your business with others, in the form of a prayer request.
–Supportive: A companion is one who covers you in prayer, they help you stay motivated along your journey to fulfilling your purpose. They do not tolerate when people speak ill of you (they don’t engage in gossip). They stick around, and don’t run away from you during your time of need.
Proverbs 18:24 ~ There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
–Encourages: They are able to use their words to build you up and not tear you down. They have the ability to give you TIMELY advice. They remind you that you have hope in Christ.
–Honest: A close friend should be able to tell you when you’re wrong (out of line) through correcting you in a loving manner. A good friend is bold enough to rebuke you in love so that you do not walk along the path of destruction.
Proverbs 27:5 ~ “An open rebuke is better than hidden love!”
Proverbs 28:23 ~ In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery.
–Reliable: Life is sweet when you’re not habitually worrying about someone consistently failing to show up when you ask for their help. A decent person will not leave their companion feeling anxious all the time due to being undependable. (It’s difficult to sleep well with an anxious heart/mind).
Proverbs 25:19 ~ Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot.
–Understanding: We ALL make mistakes and let people down at time’s, this is just the reality of life. But what’s nice is having a friend who understands and doesn’t blacklist you (cut you off) because you sent them a birthday message a day late, or turned up 5 minutes late to a coffee date (I’m addressing one-off mistakes here).
Proverbs 22:24 ~ Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered.
–Kind: Having the privilege to know someone who is thoughtful and considerate is SUCH a blessing. Be super grateful for the people God places in your life who go above and beyond for you, and don’t expect anything in return 🙌🏾.
–Gentle: I feel that gentleness is such a priceless attribute to possess (probably because my dad is SUPER DUPER gentle). Seeing someone maintain a meek and patient spirit in the midst of a challenging situation is beautiful to behold. Someone who won’t scream at the top of their lungs, or become abusive towards you because you offended them is a keeper. (P.S. I personally believe that gentleness is a beautiful gem to look out for in a potential spouse).
–Thoughtful: Being thoughtful is a great quality to have. I always find it lovely when individuals address the needs of others in a loving manner. And even more so when a person helps another without the other stating their needs. Some examples of being thoughtful are saying the right words, baking or cooking a meal for a friend, or helping someone come up with an action plan during their moments of difficulty etc.
Please note that an individual does not have to possess ALL of the qualities listed above in order to qualify to be a good friend, as nobody is perfect, nonetheless one should still be able to identify several positive traits within a person whom they call friend. Especially in the case of companions who are believers, this is because Christians are called to imitate Christ, and I believe that Christ possesses all of the wonderful characteristics listed above. Also remember that there are different types of friendships, in life you’ll encounter people who’ll you’ll naturally click with and be closer to in comparison with others.
Ephesians 5:1-2 ~ “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
Isaiah 63:9 ~ “In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years.”
Luke 7:12-13 ~ “A funeral procession was coming out as he approached the village gate. The young man who had died was a widow’s only son, and a large crowd from the village was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart overflowed with compassion. “Don’t cry!” he said.”
If you desire to learn how to be a good friend, learn from Christ and follow His blueprint. He is full of compassion, forgiveness, love, patience, and SO MUCH MORE. He never turns away those who seek after Him, and during His time on earth He put others first through acts of service.
Matthew 15:32 ~ “Then Jesus called his disciples and told them, “I feel sorry for these people. They have been here with me for three days, and they have nothing left to eat. I don’t want to send them away hungry, or they will faint along the way.”
I know that it can be extremely challenging to build strong healthy relationships, and it can be hard to be a ‘good’ friend and to find a ‘good’ friend for that matter, but never forget that you ALWAYS have a friend in Christ. Also God will provide us with the strength that we need to be the friend our friends need (all we gotta do is ask).
John 15:14 ~ “You are my friends if you do what I command.”
I’d like to wrap things up for now and will continue this bible study series next week God willing. Keep safe and stay encouraged.
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart