Good morning lovelies
Today is the final part to our mini blog series on friendship. Last week we learnt about the specific characteristics which make one a good friend, and now we shall be investigating into the habits we SHOULDN’T be practicing, in order to sustain a healthy relationship!
The very first point I’d like to bring to your attention is… Don’t be that friend who is NEVER available, and is always too busy to show up. If you’re never present in a friends life, you need to start reevaluating how you spend you time (labour on your work life balance and time management skills). It’s important to be involved in the lives of those you claim to love, as we humans value shared memories more so than gifts and money. It’s lovely to send over gifts to a friend, but it’s even greater to physically show up for them when they need you. Stop neglecting your friends. Never put your ambitions before those you love (family and friends).
Now I’d love to share a real life encounter with you, as I learnt a lot from this specific observation. There is an elderly woman whom I admire greatly, because of her great passion for God, she is always SO excited when speaking about her relationship with Jesus. But it shocked me that she was too busy to visit her dying friend in hospital, and also did not attend her wake keeping service. This astonished me immensely, as I believe a great way to show the love of Christ to the world, is to live it out (other than speak about it). From then on I made the decision not to be a friend who is so busy with various engagements, that I forget those God has placed around me.
Some other bad habits/attitudes to avoid
Don’t be that friend who always gossips: If you spend a lot of time talking about others, people will be less likely to trust you with their private lives. It also shows that you do not respect others, and are more likely to be disappointed at other people’s success, instead of rejoicing with them. If you have the habit of running your mouth (always spilling tea) STOP NOW!
Proverbs 16:28 ~ A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.
Ephesians 4:29 ~ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Don’t be that friend who is always hot tempered: Such a bad attitude is a huge turn off! It’ll hinder people from bonding with you. Aspire to bring joy, love, and peace into a room. Be that sweet heavenly aroma for all to bask in. I pray that none of us will have a presence/attitude which brings negativity and darkness into a room.
Proverbs 29:22 ~ An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.
Don’t be that friend who is always jealous: I’m sure that many of us know that ONE person who is never happy when something good happens to someone else. They always find a reason as to why others (except themselves) should not be celebrated. ‘Oh it’s nothing really why make a big deal about gaining a new qualification’, ‘Oh come on they’re not the first to get married and won’t be the last what’s all the fuss about’, ‘They managed to get that promotion because they’re a doormat’! Please please PLEASE do not be such a friend. It’s really draining/discouraging having someone whisper hurtful, and unnecessary comments into your eardrums. Such nasty words can be soul crushing.
1 Corinthians 13:4 ~ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Don’t be that friend who only and always talks about themselves: I know that some humans like to talk a lot more than others, but one should always be sensitive enough to consider what others have to say. Listening is part of communicating, and if people frequently struggle to get a word in whilst conversing with you, they’ll avoid you like the plague. I believe most individuals don’t enjoy having conversations with persons who always brag about themselves, or their children’s achievements, never considering to ask how their fellow counterpart is doing. Honestly such an attitude is a massive turn off. And to be quite frank, too much talk leads to sin as the Bible states. There is a high tendency for one to over exaggerate (lie) when consistently running their mouth about their proud moments.
Proverbs 10:19 ~ Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
We have so many great examples of beautiful friendships in the bible, such as the relationship between Jonathan and David. Jonathan was happy to see David become King in his fathers place, even though according to tradition Jonathan should have been next in line, as he was King Saul’s son. Jonathan was content to see God’s glorious will be done in the life of his friend David. He was joyful to see David succeed and achieve greatness. He loved his friend David.
1 Samuel 18:1 ~ After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David.
We also have Christ and His relationship with us His creation! He willing gave up His divine privileges in order for us to receive redemption, He gave His life as a sacrifice so that we can experience ‘TRUE’ freedom! There is no greater love than for one to lay his life down for his friend, which is exactly what Christ did! We have a friend in Him. Christ put our needs before His own, therefore I urge those who have not yet accepted His love to taste and see that the Lord is good. Give friendship with God a try!
1 John 3:16 ~ We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.
My final piece of advice is, every healthy relationship needs space! Try not to suffocate your friend by infringing on their quiet time. Remember you cannot play the role of God in their life, and they need time alone with God to deepen their friendship with Him.
Proverbs 25:17 ~ Don’t visit your neighbors too often, or you will wear out your welcome.
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart