That one picture was the trigger.
The trigger which led to feelings of discontentment.
That’s not the best me, that image doesn’t flatter me.
Look at that belly bulge, and don’t even mention the wind battered fro. Why are there so many hair strands roughly knocked out of place?
Thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, quickly start to set in!
Negative remarks from extended family members start to resurface AGAIN.
Unfortunately these comments are like a broken tape recorder, which I can’t stop. The malicious melody repeats itself over and over again. I guess the words of others do tend to stick around within the subconscious mind.
All of this because of one photo.
One picture was the trigger.
The trigger which led to a domino effect.
But glancing at the picture again I looked at my smile, and thought aha my smile is my saving grace.
But then again I thought, it’s not JUST my smile. I know I’ve been blessed with a beautiful beaming grin, but this scalp of mine is filled with glorious locks, my pose is gracious, and my fine melanin infused skin is gorgeous. I’m beautiful because I Am, says I am. There’s more to my beauty than my smile. Every interconnected element of my outer shell is intricately designed, wonderfully created with expertise.
My soul is bursting with joy,
Oh my soul why do you rejoice?
Deep within I hear a powerful, loud, and captivating harmony, which overpowers the broken record. Blurting out words of truth.
I hear God’s word.
I hear the word beautiful.
I AM BEAUTIFUL
And I know this to be TRUE.
Hey WordPress family
I hope you’re ALL doing well. Once again I thought I’d open up with some poetry. This specific piece I’ve written is called ‘The domino effect’. The poem got the name ‘The domino effect’, because sometimes all it takes to unravel a whole well of emotions inside, is ONE THING. And sadly sometimes not all that is uprooted is pleasant, especially when dealing with past memories. But I want to remind you today that God made no mistake when He created you. I know that sometimes one may not ‘feel’ attractive, but it doesn’t change the truth that you are beautifully made.
Anyways…I really can’t understand why some African aunties AND uncles, LOVE to openly vocalise their unsolicited opinions, about other people’s weight! Honestly I will never understand ????!! I’m sure that this happens outside of the African community too. It can be extremely annoying, being on the receiving ends of insults. I remember family trips to Nigeria, they where fun, and exciting. Getting to see extended family members, sampling fresh food, and embracing diversity was always great, but there was one thing which I dreaded the most. Having to mentally prepare myself for uninvited comments. A phrase I used to hear a lot when I was younger was, ‘You need to work on your size’, it was like no one could notice anything else about me, other than my body dimensions.
Fast forward a few years later, and I’ve dropped 3 dress sizes. Knowledge is truly power, I spent most of my youth believing that fruit juice was super healthy, and that it didn’t contain many calories. Who knew that drinking a liquid substance, could potentially equate to eating a meal? Personally speaking I didn’t know that juices were filled with SO MUCH sugar, as in the past I would happily drink a whole cartoon of juice to myself. I also consumed a fair amount of full fat milk, until my uni friend highlighted to me how fattening milk can be! Trust me having access to the right information is power people! I began substituting/replacing unhealthy sugar filled drinks with water! It was a positive turn around for me, and it gave me the opportunity to share tips with others (including the African aunties), on how to lose some additional body fat.
I also see things from the other side too! It broke my heart as I took my phone from my baby sister, only to find her researching into ‘how to slow down your metabolism’! I immediately told her ‘you do not want to do that, you’re fine the way you are, and your diet is nutritious’. We human beings are truly interesting mammals, it seems that we’re always chasing after something, or wanting what we don’t have!
Please do not be that relative who splurts out ‘spiteful’ comments, with the aim of intentionally hurting, or embarrassing a family member. I for one believe it is good to encourage others to make healthy lifestyle choices, as my mum and aunt encouraged me, but ensure that your critism is constructive. Don’t use negative words to tear others down! Remember you never know the reason behind a person’s weight change, it could be linked to their medical or mental health, so watch the words that you say.
Proverbs 15:31-32 ~ If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.
Ephesians 4:29 ~ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
I can openly admit that I’ve gotten real comfortable these past few months. I have DEFINITELY over eaten many times, and have ordered a few too many takeaways (takeouts). I’ve neglected my health by feeding my body a lot of junk, and I’ve felt the Holy Spirit convict me on this particular matter, over and over again. The feeling of food coming back up your throat, due to overeating is not cool. Neither is feeling constantly bloated. So instead of going for a quick energy fix, which usually involves consuming an unhealthy snack, I will now make the effort to nourish my body with good food (WordPress family, let’s keep each other motived by sharing words of wisdom, and or practical tips on how to stay healthy! How do you overcome hunger pans in a healthy manner?). I’ve also decided to rely on Jesus, rather than on sugar to help me get through stressful moments! I cannot allow food to control me! Neither can I let food become an idol, by giving food the power to govern my decision making! And let us not forget that gluttony is a sin.
Ezekiel 16:49 ~ Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.
Philippians 3:19 ~ “They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth.”
Proverbs 25:16 ~ Do you like honey? Don’t eat too much, or it will make you sick!”
I believe that when it comes to food, moderation is key. It is not wise to eat too much, or too little! The final point I’d like to leave you with is, to embrace your God given frame. Wether you’re short or tall, busty or not so busty etc, always aspire to look after your temple. Your WHOLE temple! Don’t neglect your physical, mental, or spiritual health.
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart 💓