Overwhelming, at times disheartening, painfully slow, and soooo much more.
Hey beautiful people
It’s been a very very long time since I last shared about my journey as a single Christian woman. Sorry for the delay, I will not keep you deprived any longer. NEWSFLASH….. I decided to try online dating (My profile is currently still somewhat active). In today’s post I will be discussing my experience with you, I must warn you that my experience is unique and personal, and not everyone will encounter the same things which I did, therefore my experience is not setting stone.
What moved me to creating an account in the first place was the COVID-19 pandemic. Meeting new people, let alone people I already know, seemed increasingly difficult. So I thought to myself why not give it a try. My initial concern was having my information available to a wide range of ‘random’ strangers. I was conflicted about how much information was too much to give out to people I’ve never met. I must admit that I did view a few profiles of people I’ve actually seen in person… A patient I treated…AWKWARD! But I guess we’re all in the same boat.
Firstly I found the whole experience very overwhelming. Having a lot of messages and likes to respond to was far too much for me, and when overwhelmed I tend to withdraw. This moved me to step away from the dating app for some time, in order to pray about the process.
Philippians 4:6 ~ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Doubt began to creep into my mind, as I felt disheartened when going through profiles which had little to no information about Christ. This was especially frustrating for me, because I intentionally joined specific dating sites (two) solely because of their Christian ethos. And I cannot forget to mention that there were a few fake accounts.
The whole process can be painfully slow due to poor communication. This is why it’s essential NOT to build a fairytale life in your mind, about a person whose profile appears to tick your boxes. I once heard a comment stating that ‘A person can seem amazing until they open their mouth’. Every human is wonderfully made, but sometimes the words which leave our lips can sometimes be not so wonderful (filthy or nasty).
Discretion: The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offence or revealing confidential information.
Proverbs 11:22 ~ “A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”
^^^ The same applies to males as well as females.
I must say that online dating definitely has it’s positives, for me the major plus was that it took me out of my comfort zone. I was no longer fearful or ashamed about openly admitting my desire for marriage. Joining was in some ways liberating for me. I believe that a lot of people find themselves in a place where they feel too embarrassed to join online dating sites, due to fear of appearing desperate.
My online experience has also taught me that you have to trust God just as much when online dating, as you do when courting someone whom you’ve physically encountered before. Honestly it’s takes A LOT of faith to meet someone online, as you never know who’s at the end of the other screen. People are not always entirely honest about their character. So don’t EVER believe the lie that signing up to a dating site shows that you don’t trust God, because it takes a great level of faith and courage to speak to someone you’ve potentially never met. (I used to believe the myth that online dating meant that you didn’t trust God. But God can use any means He chooses, in order to bring people together).
Another significant lesson I’ve learnt is that it’s important to be patient. During the process God was continually reminding me of the importance of waiting (not being moved by fear). I was reminded that ALL God does is good. It can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster if you’re not careful, which is why it’s super important not to allow your feelings to govern your day, as your feelings don’t always reflect reality. Don’t make decisions out of frustration or in haste. I remember opening up multiple accounts out of annoyance, and swiftly deleting them after 5 minutes 🙈.
Don’t fall into Satan’s trap by believing that there is nobody out there for you! If God has given you the desire to marry, and has promised you the gift of matrimony, then there is someone out there for you. Someone who will love you the way God created you. They’ll appreciate and adore you as a person. So my main word of advice to you is to BE PATIENT. Trust that your disappointment can be a form of protection from unknown danger.
Proverbs 14:12 ~ There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.
^^^ What we envision is good for us is not always best. But we can trust that God’s plans for us will bring us no harm, hallelujah.
I will keep you updated. Stay blessed and encouraged.
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart