Key aspects to building a friendship that lasts (Part 1).

Oooo the joys of having someone to call friend, someone whom you can also refer to as a sibling by choice. Related not by blood, but through feelings of affection.

Good day beautiful people

I hope this post meets you well? Today I will be discussing about companionship, as having friends is very important. The Bible states that it’s not good for man to be alone and in order to function well throughout life, one needs to be surrounded with virtuous people to fellowship with. When a person learns how to develop a healthy relationship they get to discover more about themselves, and it provides one with the opportunity to grow. But building strong relationships isn’t easy, all relationships require effort!

Genesis 2:18 ~ Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him”.

I am one who doesn’t fear rejection but I DO FEAR hurt. The thought of getting hurt by someone you trust so deeply, greatly concerns me. So I usually tend to think to myself ‘Why bother positioning yourself in a place where you’re bound to encounter pain’. So I avoid this type of pain by not getting too close to everyone and anyone. I generally take a long while to get intimate with others, but I am very happy to say that God has blessed me with good quality friendships in life. Honestly I’m a working progress people! The problem with such a mindset is one could go as far as saying ‘What’s the point of living when you’re bound to face hardships’? But the thing is having the opportunity to experience just a brief moment of joy is worth living for, to be able to encounter ‘true’ love and joy is indescribable. To have a small level of understanding about the unfailing love of God is worthwhile.

Jesus knew that His disciples would betray Him before it happened, because He knows ALL things. Yet He still decided to invest over 3 years of His life in training the apostles and developing a close relationship with them, especially with Peter, James, and John. Therefore I have no excuse to not make friends. We shouldn’t allow fear hold us back from making companions.

Isaiah 46:10 ~ Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Matthew 26:56 ~ But this is all happening to fulfill the words of the prophets as recorded in the Scriptures.” At that point, all the disciples deserted him and fled.

I’ve learnt SO much from my parents such as the importance of forgiveness. Even when individuals close to them have betrayed them, they would still show love and compassion towards such persons. People have badmouthed, spread rumours, and stolen from them, yet they never retaliated by repaying evil for evil. My parents normally protect an individual who has treated them unkindly, by not assassinating their character. They do not go around spilling the tea before others within the community. Discoveries of individuals wrongdoings against the family stays within the four walls of our home, or would just about reach the ears of a counsellor.

Soooo important things to note… Always remember that relationships are NOT 50/50. At time’s people cannot manage to give you 50% during their current season in life. They may only be able to give 5% and you’ll have to give 95%, this is just the way the cookie crumbles. Sometimes you have to be the one to reach out, and ALWAYS message first. It can get frustrating but remember they may be going through a tough period. So a good way to break the silence is to ask the individual in person three simple words…. ‘How are you’! Those words are extremely powerful and can potentially open the door for a person to pour out their heart, and tell you how they really feel! Check in on your friends once in a while as you never know what battles they’re facing behind closed doors.

Please also beware of toxic individuals! A lot of the time when you meet up with such persons you end up feeling spiritually drained, down, or dejected. Do not maintain close fellowship with them, protect your heart in such instances. If someone intentionally and consistently breaks your trust, yes forgive them as it’s God’s desire for us to do so, but you do not have to be best friends with them. You cannot be best friends with everyone, in life you’ll meet some people whom you’ll have to love from afar in order to protect your heart and theirs. Broken trust is not easily restored it takes the grace of God for that to happen, and it can be very tough to forgive, but the Lord requires for us to forgive, just as He forgives us. We are not required to be best friends with everyone, but the Bible states that we should pursue to live in peace with others.

Ephesians 4:32 ~ Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Romans 12:18 ~ Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Some key points to keep in mind

1. Forgiveness is an important building block in any relationship. You’ll let your friends down at times and you’d appreciate if they’d forgive you. So learn to forgive others.

2. Don’t let fear hold you back from developing meaningful relationships in life. Fear robs many of many great opportunities.

3. Hand your hurts over to God, and never repay evil with evil, remember you serve a JUST God.

4. God will always be there for you! He is the only person who’ll constantly be around every second of your life. He is ALWAYS there to help when you need Him. Call upon Him anytime and anywhere.

5. Accept that during some seasons in life you’ll ‘feel’ alone or potentially be alone. You’ll feel like no one understands you. You may experience multiple let downs from people who you thought you could rely on! But don’t forget that God knows exactly how we feel because He is there with us in the midst of our storms. Also our feelings don’t always reflect reality!

It’s in moments of solitude that you are provided with the opportunity to get to know God more, as well as yourself. So don’t resent the quiet moments.

I hope you managed to learn a thing or two from today’s post, I do intend on doing a 3 part series (could be more or less) on friendship so keep your eyes peeled. Also please do share with the WordPress community how you get through a tough break up with a dear friend, by dropping a comment below.

God bless

Love from

Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart